06.26.2012

4 things to remember before throwing a “Me Party”

Emily E. Ryan POSTED BY Emily E. Ryan

There’s a new pity party in town, and it’s called a “Me Party.” Haven’t heard of it? Basically, it’s a pity party wrapped in cute clothes, great food, fun times, and, occasionally, backup dancers. And the best part of all, it’s all about Y-O-U! Check it out:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXH3Gnvxpw0?rel=0]

But, as tempting and exciting as Amy Adams and Miss Piggy make them look, Me Parties aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. The truth is, they’re merely temporary solutions to underlying problems.

Your own Me Party could be inspired by anything from a setback at work, a fight with your husband, or a harsh word from a friend, to PMS or just an overall feeling of loneliness or hopelessness.

And, there are as many different “themes” to a Me Party as there are “Me’s” to begin with. Your own Me Party could involve retail therapy, an unnecessarily long bubble bath, an overindulgence of food, alcohol or drugs, or simply an escape through a movie, a book, sleep, or a random destination.

I’ll admit, my personality tends to be drawn towards Me Parties very easily. When I’m frustrated, overworked, lonely, stressed or tired, my first inclination is to shut everybody out and withdraw into my own little world of Emily Land: Population 1. But there are a few things we all need to remember before throwing a Me Party:

  1. At some point, the party will end.
    One of the worst parts of throwing a party, in my opinion, is cleaning up afterwards. The fun only lasts for a short while, and then the hostess is left to sweep, clean, straighten and restore. Don’t have anything at your Me Party that you don’t want to have to clean up later.
  2. Others can’t RSVP “yes” if they’re not invited.
    You may think that no one cares and you’re all alone in your misery, but that’s not necessarily the truth. If you give others an invitation into your life, they just might join you after all. Yes, it’s true; they may let you down, stand you up, or even leave early, but they can never prove they care if they aren’t given a chance.
  3. You are never truly alone at a Me Party
    Here comes the truth you know in your head but sometimes forget in your heart: You are never alone. God is with you. He has not left you. He has not forgotten about you. He has not neglected you. (Matt. 28:20) He always cares, and He is always working behind the scenes in your life.
  4. You’re less likely to need a Me Party when every day is a He Party.
    Chances are, if you’re spending regular, quality time with God, your desire for a Me Party will dissolve. It’s hard to focus on yourself when you’re focusing on Him instead.

Every now and then, us girls do need some time to ourselves, and I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with that. Let’s just be careful to keep a Me Party from becoming the social event of the year.

Q: What makes you want to throw a Me Party? What have you found that works instead?

 




7 comments on “4 things to remember before throwing a “Me Party”

    Selina says:

    Love this!! I’m not much of a kind me party girl, but I have my days.. But truly those me party days doesn’t last long. I’m very careful not to let them drag me to self-pitty. Instead I prefer to rest in my Father’s arms! Works wonders!!!! Thanks for sharing!!

    Emily Ryan says:

    Thanks Selina! Yep, resting in Him is the best medicine!

    Jackey Ny says:

    Emily, thanks for posting this! I, for one have been wanting to throw a Me Party for the past couple months. I have been feeling frustrated,stressed, and overwhelmed with life, especially family; and have been just wanting to be by myself. I’ve prayed about it and I just feel that my heart is stubborn. I’ve found that being around friends from church has helped me.

    Emily Ryan says:

    You’re welcome, Jackey! Hope you feel better soon!

    Charity says:

    There is a fine line between taking care of ourselves and throwing a me party. We are starting our new homeschool year on Monday. I was trying to familiarize myself with the curricula and needed some time to focus. I needed some uninterrupted time to do this. So my husband took our sons for 2 hours to give me some uninterrupted time to get this done. There are also days when I am so busy meeting needs that I don’t eat until far into the afternoon or there are times when night after night I am up far too late and up way too early at the same time. If you are referring to saying, I need to stop and eat or I need to get a good nights sleep once in a while to my husband then I would disagree with you about a Me Party. Or as a diabetic mom that I have to make sure I get good exercise to control blood sugars as a Me Party then I disagree. If however you are referring to continual unnecessary indulgences that hurt others in order to have them then I totally agree with you that they can be harmful. The difference being the focus. One says “I have given all I have for others.” The other one is demanding of rights and elevates oneself above others. If we are putting the Lord and our family ahead of ourselves then taking time to care for ourselves is a good thing, but if we are putting ourselves ahead of everyone else then it is sin and we need to confess this. I am a person who can take things to extremes so I wanted to add this comment just for those who might read this who might be like me and say something like — oh my I let my husband unload the dishwasher twice this year so I could get 30 minutes of extra sleep that night and experience unnecessary guilt. It is not the me-time or me-party in and of itself– it is the heart attitude behind it.

    Emily Ryan says:

    Charity, you are so right! There is a fine line between having me time and having a “me party.” Every gal (especially moms!) needs time to herself – to recharge, refocus, and rest. The danger comes when that time is spent wallowing, whining, or indulging in anything that doesn’t glorify God. Thanks for your comment!! Prayers for you and your homeschoolers!

    bessfisher says:

    Oh, I find “Me parties” very interesting, too, and when we saw this movie, I wrote in my journal this:
    “Hmmmm……a me party, sounds like a pity party to me, nothing more, nothing less. I noticed that neither Amy Adams character or Miss Piggy felt any better after their “me party”, after the hype and the “fanfare (of themselves), they were right back to being alone.
    I can really relate to this, as I’ve been there many times in my life, but several years ago, I learned to have what I now call (thanks to the Muppet Movie) a HE party – and WOW what a difference that makes. When I start praising the One Who truly deserves it, and focusing on His attributes, when I’m done I REALLY realize that I’m not now, nor have a ever been alone – without Him.”

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