04.26.2012

Church Bulletin Bloopers: Guaranteed Laughs!

Emily E. Ryan POSTED BY Emily E. Ryan

I needed a good belly-laugh the other day, and somehow, someway, my BFF could sense it all the way from New York. So, she sent me these classic church bulletin bloopers and succeeded in making me laugh so hard that my daughter started crying because she thought something was wrong with me!  Now, I know you have seen probably seen many of these before, but you just can’t eat a great blooper! :-)

  • The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
  • The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’
  • Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
  • Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
  • Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
  • Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.
  • For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
  • Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
  • Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
  • A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
  • At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.
  • Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
  • Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
  • Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
  • The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
  • Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.
  • The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
  • This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
  • The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
  • Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.
  • The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
  • Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church Please use large double door at the side entrance.
  • Due to the Rector’s illness, Wednesday’s healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
  • When parking on the north side of the church, please remember to park on an angel.

I hope those made  you smile today! Tune in on Tuesday when I’ll annouce my next series!

Q: Please, oh please, share your favorite church bulletin blooper! I’d love to keep laughing! 




7 comments on “Church Bulletin Bloopers: Guaranteed Laughs!

    Heather R says:

    Thank you! With 2 sick kiddos and me catching it to, I really needed a laugh. Thank you!!!

    Emily Ryan says:

    Glad to be of service! :-)

    Sherial Caswell says:

    Speaking of bloopers, did you mean to say, “You just can’t EAT a great blooper?” Laughing…..

    Emily Ryan says:

    Hee hee…

    Tlitton says:

    My husband was on staff at a church in Pasadena, Tx. We had a few bloopers ourself. Church marque outside read, “What is hell like? Our Pastor preaching.”
    Also, on all of our church bulletins, on the back was the plan of salvation and a prayer. Easter Sunday, (keep in mind resurrection). The prayer reads, “Dead Lord Jesus…” instead of Dear Lord Jesus.
    I love bloopers!

    Emily Ryan says:

    Those are awesome!! I’m cracking up!!!

    Briant says:

    I love church bulletin bloopers, I’m so worried that I’ll mess up our church bulletin cover and find it on the internet!

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