Front Porch Friday: Top 5 Tips For Young Marrieds

Laurie Cole POSTED BY Laurie Cole

Two of you asked the very same question in our Ask Laurie: Q&A and Giveaway: What’s your best advice to young  couples and those just starting out?

While I certainly can’t outdo God’s Top 4 for husbands and wives (see below), today  I’ll share my Top 5 (+ 1) Tips for Young (and not-so-young) Marrieds. See you on the porch!

Married 34 years and still madly in love with my man,

What’s YOUR best advice to young marrieds? Let me hear from some of you old (and not-so-old) married women — our precious young marrieds need all the encouragement they can get. Bless you!

Click here to watch other videos in the “Ask Laurie” series!


God’s Top 4 Commands to Husbands & Wives:

  1. Husbands love your wives (Eph. 5:25).
  2. Husbands honor your wives and live with them  in an understanding way (1 Peter 3:8).
  3. Wives respect your husbands (Eph. 5:33).
  4. Wives submit to your husbands (Eph. 5:22).

Laurie Cole is the President of Priority Ministries and the author of six Bible studies for women: There is a Season, The Temple, Beauty by The Book, Beauty by The Book for Teens, Warrior Princess, and Are You a Disciple? A frequent speaker at women's events, find out how to invite Laurie to speak at your event.

19 comments on “Front Porch Friday: Top 5 Tips For Young Marrieds

    howardmom7@aol.com' Suzanne Howard says:

    An additional tip is to have a weekly date night. It can be inexpensive or extravagant, but date each other! We’ve been together 24 years and we still “date”.

    gonzalogomezjr@hotmail.com' Rosalinda says:

    I agree. I’ve been married 28 years and we make it a point to go out every Friday night.

    caimyh@yahoo.com' Caimy Harbison says:

    I am proud to say that this past July I have been married for 15 yrs to a wonderful christian man. A few yrs ago I wasnt sure I would be able to make that statement. My husband and I were going through one of the worst times in our marriage. God used this time to reveal to me that I had not been giving my husband or marriage the respect they deserved. Through lots of prayer, tears, forgivness and love our marriage and relationship are stronger than ever! My advice to young marrieds is this: In everything you do or say ask yourself this question “How is this going to make my spouse feel?” or ” Would I do this or act this way if my spouse were here with me?” most importantly, “Am I acting in a way that builds my marriage up or tears it down?

    drose322000@yahoo.com' Darcy says:

    Thank You. I am not married, but in a relationship of 5 years. We have had our fair share of problems, that have taken us away from each other. We get back together, and then seem to get in the rut again, every summer. We are loyal to each other, and love each other dearly. I have two daughters in college, he has a 15 year and 11 year old boys. He loves my girls I love his boys. I tell him we also need to remember, we have a relationship to keep healthy, even when we have his boys all summer. Its a tough spot.

    Gods holy grace surrounds me when the Devil is swarming, in the times we have communication problems in our relationship. I know we need to focus on our relationship growing in Gods love as a couple like you said. ITS SO IMPORTANT! I talk to my man, but sometimes fall on deaf ears. Hes a good man with my heart, God tells me that he should meet in the middle a little bit more then he does.

    I appreciate your words from God to encourage us to work on a common ground, that we so deeply need. God is in charge of my life, my father in Heaven has blessed me with a super natural 2012! Praise God!! He also gives me grace in time of trouble and lets me know it will all be good. Gods amazing way to give and take away when he sees fit, is a miracle every day of my life! I pray for our realtionship to become a married life, when the time is right, with a healthy beginning, in Gods Grace.

    Thank You!!

    tom_lena@msn.com' Lena Lewis says:

    This has helped me. My husband and I celebrated 50 years in June!

    Colossians 3:23
    New American Standard Bible (NASB)
    23 Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men,

    ashleynaylor@att.net' ashley naylor says:

    pray together, hold hands while you pray together! use a couple devotional daily to get conversation started. Find something funny to laugh about and keep the joy in your marriage!

    kay@kayharms.com' Kay says:

    Those are all great tips Laurie.And I know that you truly try to practice them. I concur with each tip and I don’t really have another huge one to offer. But I could add, “Learn to say “I’m sorry. I was wrong. Will you forgive me?” and practice often! In my marriage I’m the one who has the hardest time with those words. My husband does so much better than me. And it humbles me every time. When he claims fault and apologizes sincerely, it just endears him to me and makes me fall more in love with him! Keeping a soft heart towards one another through both apologizing and offering forgiveness is a monumental task, but so worth it.

    fitnessguruette@yahoo.com' Monica says:

    WOW! That was great! I am NOT married but in a lovely courtship. My boyfriend and I started pre-pre-marital classes as I call them. With a couple who help young missionaries in our church through the Marriage/Parenting Ministry and we surprised everyone by starting these at the beginning of our relationship…month two is here! But why wait? Why not practice the lessons that you mentioned that are right there in the Bible; NOW?! We want our future marriage to have a strong foundation(scriptually) and we want God to lead us as He has! So to do so…we start training now…so it will be natural when we walk down the aisle. Thanks for your Godly advice and for being such an inspiration to me and many other women;especially from the San Diego Woman’s Retreat last year! God is soo great and His works wonderful!

    janmessali@gmail.com' jewelry4change says:

    Congrats on 34 years Laurie! We recently celebrated 32 years, but I was still very interested to hear your tips. Even us ‘old timers’ need to continue to work on our marriages. 🙂

    toodlestc@gmail.com' Kay Reed says:

    Laurie, congratulations on 34 yrs. Tomorrow we celebrate 45 yrs. What a joy. Not always happy but always joyful. I grew up with divorce being common place in my family. I was determined that would stop with me. Divorce hurts everyone. One of the things I like to think about my marriage is this. He has faults. I have faults. He forgives me. I forgive him. And we go on loving each other.

    zajosa@aol.com' Julie Christianson says:

    I think the most important key for a strong marriage is for both partners to love Jesus and to put Him first.Just like the Trinity,Father,Son,and Holy Spirit.In marriage we put God first and then each other second.It is real important to know that you. cannot change a person for the most part,only God can help change them when they seek Him.Also if you have problems seek Christian Counceling.Marriage is a partnership.When God created Adam,He took the rib closest to his heart to create women.A women is to be loved and a man needs respect.Hope this helps!

    mcgreen88@comcast.net' Connie Green says:

    Hey Laurie,
    Congratulations and congratulations, 34 years is awesome. We’re on our way. Mike and I have been married 24 years this week. It’s been a great adventure and we are still best friends. I just have a few suggestions for young married ladies.
    First, remember submission is a decision not a position. You’re still a team, but make sure your husband knows you appreciate him as the spiritual leader of your family.
    Second, optimism isn’t a disease but it is contagious. Always try to be encouraging and uplifting. Grumbling and complaining is also contagious, so be careful.
    Thanks for your encouraging words and sweet spirit.

    kdmcknight4@yahoo.com' KMcKnight says:

    After 20 years of marriage, my advice is to be a patient listener to your spouse and don’t assume you know what he/she is thinking. Listen and repeat back what they are saying to make sure you are on the same page. Also wives should build their husbands up and let them know we are proud of them and appreciate them.

    debbie@owenstransport.com' grannie10 says:

    T R U S T…………………….A marriage can’t survive without it!!! And then I’m BIG on th e 5 LOVE languages which are, (not in order), quality of time-a date night, words of affirmation-even when your mad, physical touch-not sex but affection, acts of service-it’s fun when you keep one upping the other BUT not in competetion but LOVE & making REAL deposits in your mates LOVE bank-it’s different for us all, girls or guys. And ALWAYS, GOD 1st!!!!,
    mate, kids then outside family……………& friends. Lol in Christ

    debbie@owenstransport.com' grannie10 says:

    And just as I hit send a thought came & it is this…..learning to “”agree to DIS-agree””. Randy & I have actually had about as much fun, lately, disagreeing BECAUSE we finally have learned HOW to do it. AND we’ve finally learned the earth won’t come to a stop IF we don’t get our own way OR…..heeheehee, we HAVE to admit the “”other”” one is RIGHT. Lovin each day beteer than the day b-4.

    debbie@owenstransport.com' grannie10 says:


    I was married this past April, and my husband and I are just starting out. We bought a house, neither one of us had lived on our own before, however he moved in a few months ahead to have time to adjust. I guess the biggest thing for us is getting used to sharing everything. We do, without argument, but I still hear him say “Well it’s your money” or “It’s not mine”; and I know i’m guilty of that as well from time to time. Yes of course we have things that we consider to be ‘ours’ but sometimes I feel like he doesn’t have a right to it with our money. Any advice?

    ecdedavis@juno.com' Debbie says:

    Wow! Thinking about the money issue mentioned above, I remember about 25 years ago, after 7 years of marriage, a dear Bible teacher gave me some wise advice, though difficult. She said, if you have two separate accounts with money, you are not becoming one. It was the biggest trust issue for me, because we were so different in the way we spent/saved/invested, etc. But she was right, and I didn’t want anything to divide us, especially not a checkbook. (we actually had three at the time, yours, mine, and ours.) That single act of my trusting the Lord with our finances, opened the way for us to become one in many other ways, including giving up my career choice (as a Doctor) for my Lord’s choice to become a wife and mother to five precious children including one adopted sweetheart. His plan was far better than mine. I was one of those planners that decided everything when I was four years old. His ways are so far above ours. Ask your Heavenly Father for wisdom, He promises to give to all generously! With Scriptures, and wise council, and the gift of the Holy Spirit to guide you, God will bless you as you Seek Him… and follow His lead… For His Glory…His Treasures are Eternal, and therefore so very precious…

    ecdedavis@frontier.com' need a little help here :) says:

    Thanks you for this encouragement Laurie, we never get too old for it. 🙂 But can you tell me how you talk through conflict, you mentioned in one of your top 5 that we need to learn, but how do we do that? We love each other, but have not learned how to deal with conflict. hope you have some good biblical helps. thanks,

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