Beauty by The Book: Summer Bible Study Week 4

Stephanie Cole POSTED BY Stephanie Cole

Welcome back to our summer bible study!

Beauty by The Book Summer Study week 4

I’m so glad you are joining me for another week of Beauty by The Book! I hope you are already seeing a difference in the way you walk and talk and experiencing the blessings of being a biblical beauty too! You’ve made it this far in our summer bible study and now we only have two more weeks to go. Let’s finish strong!

Week Four Video: The Irritating Woman

By now you know that the only cure for crabby, contentious, complaining speech is 3B words –words that build, bless and benefit. It’s an epic battle of 3C vs. 3B and it all started long ago when Eve ate that apple. Let’s listen to Laurie as she digs deeper into the truth about the Irritating Woman! (Click one of the images below for this week’s FREE online video lesson).

Beauty by the Book: Week Four (The Irritating Woman) – Listening Guide: Pg. 83

Summer Study Free Video for Beauty by The Book

Beauty by the Book for Teens: Week Four (The Irritating Woman) – Listening Guide: Pg. 83

Summer study Beauty by The Book for Teens free video


When it comes to the Irritating women I feel like I could wear one of those shirts that say “been there, done that, bought the shirt”.

My battle against the Irritating Woman will only end when Jesus takes me home. Sure, things will likely get easier if I continue to nurture my relationship with Christ. But, there will never be a day when I can let my spiritual guard down.

That’s why it’s important to be prepared for the times when it is hardest to fight the battle against contentiousness, crabbiness and complaining.

How to speak words that Build, Bless and Benefit when you are jealous:

Jealousy is rooted in self importance and a sense of entitlement – two things that deeply conflict with the life that Christ has called us to live. It can cause you to say all sorts of mean things and think some pretty nasty thoughts too. The best thing you can do when you start to feel jealous is learn to genuinely say this simple phrase: “Good for them!”

I’ve often thought how amazing it is that Christ died for me and if it were only me here on this planet he would have still made the same sacrifice so that I might know and live in the wonder of his love. But what if we turned that around and said that of our neighbors?

If it was only that woman who lives down the street, the one with the brand new car, whose super skinny and gorgeously tan and has a husband who makes millions, yes, if it was only her, Christ would have still come and died. Even if she never believes – Christ loves still abounds for her. That’s why you can genuinely say “Good for her!”

On page 75 in the Beauty by The Book workbook Laurie says “we’re to speak these words in a way that illustrates God’s grace, which means even if the hearer has not earned and does not deserve to hear 3B words, we must speak them anyway.” Wow! Grace never evaluates what a person deserves. Anyone else convicted by that?

How to speak words that Build, Bless and Benefit when you are angry:

It is very hard to speak words that build, bless and benefit when we are angry. Especially if we feel our anger is justified.

Ephesians 4:29 says “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” In a heated moment, words that are helpful and encouraging are hard to come by.

That’s why you should wait. Take a time out and take your anger to God in prayer. Ask him to help you sort out why you are really angry, to heal the hurt and to help you forgive.

Then do this:

  1. Forgive the offender in your heart. They may never ask for it, but you don’t want to be bound by bitterness towards them.
  2. Be calm. This really helps in a marriage relationship. It’s harder for your husband to hear your heart when you are hysterical.
  3. State why you are angry in one sentence or less when talking to the person you are angry with.
  4. Don’t blame the other person. Take ownership of your anger. Instead of “you make me feel angry” say “I feel angry when…”

Speaking kind, encouraging words does not always come easy. But as God continues to shape and mold our hearts into biblical beauties we will have more and more victories over our speech and less and less failures.

Let’s Chat!

In the comments, answer one or more of the following discussion questions about our summer bible: (Remember, every week you answer a “Let’s Chat” question you will be entered into a drawing for a $100 gift certificate to our store! To be announced the week after the study ends)

  1. How do you deal with your need to nag and control others? (BBB – ques. 3a, p. 79) Did you nag God this week instead of nagging someone else and, if so, how did it benefit and bless you?
  2. Have you had any victories lately over the beauty don’ts from the study? Please share so we can rejoice with you!

To Do This Week – Week Five:

  1. Complete the five days of homework in your workbook.
    • Beauty by the Book: pgs. 84-106
    • Beauty by the Book for Teens: pgs. 84-105.
  2. Watch the Week Five video and complete your Listening Guide.
  3. Hop online again starting next Wednesday, July 30th to discuss The Captivating Woman

Can’t wait to read your comments!

Stephanie Cole   Follow Stephanie Cole on Twitter Follow Stephanie on Twitter 

I am a Christ follower, Mommy multitask-er, baker, blogger and underwater basket weaver.Connect with Stephanie on Twitter.

One thought on “Beauty by The Book: Summer Bible Study Week 4

    My husband and I have done a study a couple times called Love and Respect. It changed our lives and it personally has kept me from becoming the irritating woman. Well, less often anyway. I still have my moments! I wrote a post about my experience as the irritating woman…


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