• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Christian Womens Blog

Christian Womens Blog by Laurie Cole of Priority Ministries

Laurie Cole

Author, Speaker, Teacher

  • Home
  • About
  • Speaking
  • Bible Studies
  • Blog
  • Shop
  • Contact

June 3, 2013

How to Stay Happily Married: Top 10 Things My Parents Have Taught Me – Part 1

Mother & Daddy

There’s married. Then there’s happily married. And for 60 years (60 years!!) my parents, John and Julia McKay, have enjoyed a happy marriage. How have they done it?

As I’ve pondered and prayed about that question over the past couple of days, I have come up with some answers based upon my own observations of their marriage.  So, to honor them, and in hopes that this will bless and encourage you, I’m sharing the top ten things my parents have taught me about how to stay happily married.

I’ll share the first five (in no particular order) today and the rest next Monday. How I pray this will bless and encourage you.

The Top 10 Things My Parents Have Taught Me About How to Stay Happily Married

 

1.  Recognize and respect one other’s strengths. The theory that “opposites attract” describes my parents’ marriage perfectly. They are soooo different.

So how have these two opposites managed to avoid opposition? Many years ago, they chose to admire each another’s strengths and, even more, to allow the diversity of their strengths to shine.

 2.  Recognize and accept one other’s weaknesses. Based upon my own marriage and experience, I think this probably took way more time than many of the other things on this list.

But instead of spending 60 frustrating years in the futile pursuit of trying to change one another, Mother and Daddy recognized their own weaknesses . . . and amiably chose to accept one another’s as well.

 3.  Love the Lord first and foremost. This is the hallmark – the very foundation – of my parent’s marriage. Their commitment to God and their desire to serve and obey Him dominates and permeates their relationship.

And because of that, He has blessed their marriage, their partnership, their children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren in exceeding, extravagant ways. But even more than that, He has used their marriage to point others to Himself.

 4.  Share parental responsibilities. My brothers and I  often say that we were raised under the law and grace: Mother was the law; Daddy was grace. They each had very different parenting styles.

The key, however, was that they both participated in the parenting process. And somehow, their law and grace method made us love and respect them equally.

5.  Forgive and don’t hold grudges. If you have ever been exposed to a toxic marriage where bitterness and animosity grew together under the same roof, then you have likely seen the foul fruit of unforgiveness.

 60 years. Under the same roof. And as I already said, they are two very different people. But by choosing to forgive, their home consistently produces the fragrant fruit of “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, [and] gentleness” (Gal. 5:22-23).

Next Monday, I’ll share the final five of this Top 10 list. But until then, maybe you should do what I have been doing for the past couple of days: pondering and praying over the first five, and asking God to help me stay not just married.

But happily married.

Your sister,

Laurie-sig-300dpiWhat have you learned through your marriage – or someone else’s –  about how to stay happily married? 

Share this:

  • Print
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Carol Tresca says

    June 3, 2013 at 2:50 pm

    Thanks for Sharing! My husband and I have been married for 46 years and are still very much in love with one another. One thing I feel is so important besides everyone that you mentioned, is the ability to really have fun and laugh and enjoy each other, always trying to keep each other first!

    Reply
    • Laurie Cole says

      June 3, 2013 at 3:40 pm

      You blessed me today, Carol! And congratulations on 46 years.

      Reply
  2. Leslie Shelton says

    June 3, 2013 at 3:27 pm

    Thank you for sharing with us. My parents celebrated 50 years this past March and we had a wonderful celebration. I could see my parents in these first five things you shared as well. A while back, I read about Billy Graham and his wife Ruth. The article covered many things but the one the stuck in my head is when they asked Ruth how they stayed married all these years, with him gone doing revivals and evangelical work and she is at home raising the children. Her response was telling. She replied, “He plays golf and I play bridge”. I wish I could remember where I read it to give the author credit. I totally understand her response. The key is balancing hobbies and nurturing the relationship.

    Reply
    • Laurie Cole says

      June 3, 2013 at 3:42 pm

      Billy and Ruth Graham are a wonderful example of two VERY different people who made their marriage work in spite of their differences. Thanks for the beautiful reminder, Leslie!

      Reply
  3. Grannie 10 says

    June 3, 2013 at 7:22 pm

    Hey Laurie. I’ll be passing this on to ALL I know. When you said, #3, keeping God first & foremost, being the hallmark & the very foundation of a happy marriage, you are absolutely right. From past experience, my hubby & I can both testify to the fact that, ” you simply cannot do marriage on your own or by yourself!!” & be happily married. Without God being involved in every aspect of your marriage, satan will find every crick & crevice to pry apart. And even with both partners dedicated & committed to Christ, serving & working for the glory of God, satan will still try to cause all kinds of messes. So for us, learning to recognize the “road signs” of satans interference keeps us in prayer over our own marriage, that of our kids & extended family & friends. And then, for us, learning to not take periods of crankiness or grouchiness personally. (;-0). We women, ( & men as well), really do go through a series of life changes & some are more significant than others! Having my hubby love me thru, “the good & tha bad, the happy & sad” with ALL the many other things in between that has been the sweetest blessing of our marriage & me for him as well. 😉
    Looking forward to the next 5.

    Reply
    • Laurie Cole says

      June 3, 2013 at 9:21 pm

      Thanks, Debbie! And your marriage certainly reflects that God is first and foremost in both of your lives. Blessings to you!

      Reply
  4. Stephanie (@CMTSBlog) says

    June 4, 2013 at 3:23 pm

    My husband and I will be celebrating our 6th anniversary this weekend. 🙂 One of the most important things I remember from premarital counseling was to forgive and to actually say those words when your spouse says I’m sorry and always be willing to say I’m sorry and mean it. Saying those words to each other allows us to not hold on to grudges. When my friends get married, that is always my one piece of advice. 🙂

    Happy anniversary to your parents! I hope to someday reach 60 in my own marriage!!! 🙂

    Reply
    • Laurie Cole says

      June 4, 2013 at 3:47 pm

      Sounds like you are well on your way to celebrating your 60th someday, Stephanie. Blessings to you and your hubby this weekend!

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

« Previous
Next »

Primary Sidebar

  • Subscribe and receive a
    FREE download

Popular Front Porch Friday Video Series

  • The 7 Deadly Sins of Women
  • Christian Married to a Non-Believer
  • How to Start a Home Bible Study
  • Marriage on The Rock
  • Ask Laurie
  • Royal Pains: How to Deal with Difficult People
  • If I'd Known Then

About

  • Laurie Cole
  • Priority Ministries
  • Statement of Faith
  • Make a donation
  • Contact Us

Bible Studies

  • What makes Priority Bible Studies unique?
  • Are You A Disciple?
  • Beauty by The Book
  • Beauty by The Book for Teens
  • The Temple
  • There is a Season
  • Warrior Princess
  • Free Videos & More
  • How to start a home Bible Study

Speaking

  • Check Availability/Contact Laurie
  • Schedule
  • Teaching Topics
  • Watch Laurie Speak

Blog

  • Subscribe
  • About Laurie

Priority Ministries, P. O. Box 319, Santa Fe, TX – 77510
Phone: (832)632-2197

Copyright © 2025 Priority Ministries. All Rights Reserved.