Are you a prideful wife? I’m not talking about being proud of your man. I’m talking about the kind of pride that keeps you striving to be right all the time. Are you constantly butting heads with your husband? Do your arguments go on for days or weeks? Do you hold a grudge against your spouse? You might be suffering from an infection of pride. Diagnose your pride level with this easy test.
Are you a prideful wife? Count how many times you answer “yes” to the questions.
(Warning! This may sting a little!)
- Do you feel as though you don’t need direction from your spouse?
- When your spouse does try to give you help or instructions, do you often ignore it?
- Do you speak more often of your spouse’s sins than your own?
- Are you quick to find fault in your husband?
- Do you use harsh and severe language when speaking to your spouse?
- Do you treat your spouse differently when in public than you do at home?
- Do you avoid spending time with your husband?
- Do you dwell on the ways that your spouse has hurt you?
- Do you find yourself still speaking of past injuries with bitterness?
- Are you certain that you could do things better/easier on your own?
- Do you get your feelings hurt when your spouse doesn’t complement you enough?
- Are you often telling your husband how to do things? (From driving to loading the dishwasher)
- Do you give your husband warnings or ultimatums?
- Are you waiting for your spouse to improve your marriage first?
- Do you use scripture to manipulate your husband to do things?
The Results
How many questions did you answer “yes” to?
1-4. Chances are good that you are really trying to honor God in your marriage. Now that your eyes have been opened to the areas that you need to work on, take them to God in prayer. Your goal is to become a humble wife, not a prideful wife. Proverbs 29:23 says “One’s pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor.” Being a humble wife is the absolute best way to give Christ glory in your marriage and experience God’s blessings in your life.
5-8. Pride has crept into your heart and is causing you to lose your gospel focus in your marriage. In your efforts to be right, have control and equality in your marriage, you have invited opposition with God. But it’s never too late to change that. Proverbs 25:9 says “He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way.” As you make Christ-like humility your ambition God himself will teach you what is right. The satisfaction that comes from a right standing with the Lord far outweighs any brief fulfillment from winning an argument.
9-15. You are caught in a power struggle. You may think you are fighting against your husband, but you are actually digging in your heels with God. This is why James 4:6 says “God opposes the proud”. The pride that is building up is pushing God away from your life. Psalm 138:6 refers to this distance when it says “the haughty he knows from afar”. If you have felt a detachment from God, pride may very well be the reason. Your goal in every part of your marriage should be to do whatever it takes for you to be right with God. Immerse yourself in God’s word daily. Pray for your husband and spend time each day thanking God for the man he’s given you.
So, how did you do? I wish I could say I didn’t answer “yes” to any of them, but I did. I’m right there in the trenches with you sister. Being a good wife is not about perfection – in fact, that will probably just weigh you down with guilt. No, being a good wife is really about knowing and loving God first and foremost. When you are struggling in your marriage it should be a red flag to double check where your relationship with Christ is.
You can’t expect to magically love other people just because we are commanded to in the Bible. Loving your spouse, children, neighbors, co-workers and cranky cashiers at the grocery store all comes out of the overflow of God’s love in you. If nothing is going in, you can bet nothing good is coming out.
There is only one exception to this test. If you are in an abusive relationship and are being harmed by your spouse – get out and get help as soon as you can. But know that even in the worst circumstances, God can redeem your marriage and you can still pray for your spouse.
Let’s talk! Which one of the questions stood out to you?
