This is a guest post by Glo Girl Jamie Ivey.
I’ve always struggled with the fear of losing someone. I remember as a young girl I would wake up in the middle of the night crying hysterically because of a recurring nightmare that my father died. It was horrible and I woke up drained from crying; I was emotionally spent each time. Then I got married and these nightmares crept back into my life, but this time it was a new man dying — my husband.
Each time, I’d wake up emotionally drained because it felt so real, and I would have to reach across the bed to assure myself that my husband was still there. Later, when we had a son, the nightmare grew even stronger as I imagined losing my child as well.
While God has worked graciously in my heart and mind to help me put these fears to rest in many ways, they still creep back in to my head and heart way more often than I’d like. Recently God reminded me once again, that even if my worst fears do become reality, it’s okay. I will not face them alone.
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4
Lately, as I’ve read this familiar passage, I keep pausing at the beginning: “Even though.” It’s as if God is whispering in my ear, “Even though you will have hard times, even though someone might die, I will always be with you. I will comfort you.”
God doesn’t promise any of us an easy life. Nowhere in Scripture does He guarantee that I won’t lose my husband in a tragic accident, or that one of my kids won’t get cancer. It’s not there. Instead He promises that He’ll be with us, and that we can even rejoice in our sufferings because, “suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.” (Rom. 5:3-4)
My nightmares may not disappear entirely, but I want to be able to rejoice in my sufferings and not fear them, because even though the hard times may come, He promises to carry me through them.
Oh Lord Jesus I want hope. Let me not fear my suffering, but let me trust You because Your word tells me that You will comfort me and You will endure me through it all.
Jamie Ivey lives in Austin with her husband, Aaron, who is the worship pastor at The Austin Stone Community Church, and their four kids. She’s passionate about loving her husband, adoption, and trying to be the best mom she can be. She loves family nights, reading good books, and could eat Mexican food three times a day. You can find her blogging at DreamingBigDreams, or on Twitter @jamie_ivey.